Being that it’s Christmas Eve, I thought I needed to take a quick accounting for the year and send a quick e-mail to Santa Claus before he leaves the North Pole, to make sure he has these particular people on his famous naughty/nice lists.

NAUGHTY

The Parking Ticket Geek: Despite the fact he writes a parking ticket advice column once a week, and posts news items about parking and Chicago parking tickets daily, the Geek continues to get parking tickets. Will that idiot ever learn? Shame on you Parking Ticket Geek! Santa may have a boot for you yet if you don’t wise up!

Booter Shooter: The psychopath that shot the guy booting his car earlier in the year. Santa will NOT be visiting you tonight. Hopefully the cops will catch up to you in put in you jail.

Morgan Stanley/Chicago Parking Meter LLC:These are the guys that screwed Chicago by low balling the bid for the parking meter lease plan and who will quadruple most parking meter rates in one week’s time. Santa needs to blow off his visit to these Scrooges.

Boot Vans: Those damn Death Star Boot Vans can scan hundreds of license plates per hour, and have increased the efficiency of booting in Chicago dramatically. Just wait until the boot threshold drops to two unpaid tickets in February. Booting mayhem!!! Santa, make sure the elves let the air out of their tires.

The Naughtiest-Mayor Daley: Where do I start. Budget disaster, more red light cameras, two-ticket booting, street sweeper ticket cameras, more meters, increased enforcement, selling off the entire city parking meter system at Maxwell Market prices, resulting in the quadrupling of parking meter rates, etc, etc. I recommend Santa pull a big ass dump truck up to your house Mr. Mayor, and dump a huge pile of coal on your front lawn.

NICE

Ticketmaster: A city of Chicago Parking Enforcement Aide (PEA), Ticketmaster, whom I have never met in person, is someone I’ve come to know on (what I believe to be) a personal level via e-mail. He’s been an important contributor to this website and a trusted source who provides information to The Expired Meter despite a strict gag order from the Dept. of Revenue. It’s a directive that prohibits any DOR employees from talking to the media about their job. In addition, he’s made me much more understanding of DOR workers who, despite the fact they write tickets, are just people like the rest of us and are only enforcing the bad policies of our Mayor and elected officials. Santa needs to bring you a big bag of gifts.

The Fantastic Five: A tiny group of five aldermen who had the guts to vote against the horrible parking meter lease deal. This aldermanic list includes Leslie Hairston, Billy Ocasio, Toni Preckwinkle, Rey Flores and Scott Waguespack. Santa needs to hook up all of you.

Alderman Scott Waguespack: 32nd Ward Alderman Scott Waguespack, is ne of the Fantastic Five (see above), in fact the most vocally opposed to the crap lease plan. He also stood up for constituents who got improperly towed before a running race in his ward this summer, and has been working to resolve several other parking issues in the ward. Santa should bring you a nice gift, but you are probably too ethical a guy to accept a gift that might be perceived as a bribe.

Outside The Loop Radio: Andy & Mike, the hosts/producers of Outside The Loop Radio are very cool guys who have been cool enough (or crazy enough) to invite the Parking Ticket Geek onto their great radio show on a regular basis. Santa, don’t forget to tune in every Friday at 6 PM to hear Outside The Loop Radio on WLUW 88.7 FM.

Attorney James Dimeas: Mr. Dimeas is a criminal defense attorney for the law firm The Legal Defenders. Dimeas has been fighting the good fight out in the suburbs, defending clients against red light camera violations. He’s also been kind enough to give The Expired Meter some of his legal insight into some legal questions we had. Santa, please take care of Mr. Dimeas.

Sluggo: He’s the evil technical genius behind The Expired Meter. His infinite patience and belief in the website inspires everyone here at The Expired Meter to keep plugging away. God bless you Sluggo. See you at midnight Mass.