We Say Fight Back And ‘Dump The Junk’!
Right after I wrote my heated tirade on street junk the other night, as I lay in bed, I thought, there had to be a be a way to help frustrated city residents in stopping this stupidity.
At the same time, I don’t want to encourage direct confrontations if it will mean heated verbal or even physical confrontations.
So instead, I have a more passive aggressive approach to solving this problem.
We’re calling it our “Dump The Junk!” campaign. It’s our effort to help cure Chicago of this queer “tradition” of using lawn furniture, milk crates, and other junk to save a parking space in front of your house after digging out from a snowstorm.
This practice is stupid and filthy and needs to stop. Street parking is first come, first serve–no matter what the conditions, no matter if you shoveled out a spot.
We, at The Expired Meter, have designed two small informational posters, that you can use to effectively communicate your feelings to your idiot neighbors, and encourage them to do the right thing.
It’s as easy as 1-2-3.
1-Just download the PDFs to your computer.
2-Using your computer printer, output as many as you need.
3-Spend a few moments outside tonight, taping these posters to your neighbor’s crap.
I would encourage using duct tape as packing or Scotch tape will not stick when it’s cold.
The hope is, that your neighbors will read the message, take the hint, do the right thing and extract their crap from the street.
The first, entitled PLEASE, is forceful, forthright and polite.
The second, called HEY MORON!, is rude, antagonistic and belligerent.
I’ll leave it to you to decide which one is best for you.
Perhaps, start out with the gentle and polite approach. If this doesn’t work, pull out the more aggressive alternative.
If this doesn’t work, call your aldreman and your local Streets & Sanitation office and whine, bitch, moan and complain.
Keep us posted on how this works.
Download the “Dump The Junk!” fliers here.